The Cup (2/5)

As many folks know, immediately following my heart transplant, I went into a deep delirium  that lasted about ten days.   I had numerous episodes before the transplant but after the transplant there was no part of me that was not thoroughly lost in it.   There was no rational me sitting on my shoulder.  Even that little bit of me was thoroughly psychotic. 

In that state, I was ‘taken’ somewhere and shown things that both traumatized and transformed me.  I had a guide (a.k.a. ‘the presence”) who stood just just behind my left shoulder throughout the whole ordeal and would comment on what I was seeing. 

At times during this delirium I was in a not-Emory hospital room in a hospital bed.  While in that room I discovered I had these super powers.  If I concentrated hard enough I could turn the walls to glass and see things going on outside the room.  Much of the time the room was just a room. But even when it was ‘just a room’ strange things happened.  

There was an ordinary white cabinet in the corner to my left with a small cabinet next to it.  Whenever food was brought to me and I would eat, that cabinet lean over so as to get a better view of what I was eating.  Whenever I looked up at it, the cabinet would be standing straight.  I was surrounded by a lot of machinery and those machines would do the same thing. 

Linda laughed when I told her that but, let me tell you, when you are in delirium you experience weird stuff like that and it is MORE REAL than what we would call ordinary reality.   It didn’t scare me as much as it irritated me.  I couldn’t eat in peace for that cabinet and all those machines hovering over me.

When the lights were turned out at night, I would hear things tapping on the window, scratching at the door, pawing at the walls, and scurrying across the ceiling.  And, I don’t mean a few things.  It seemed as if there were hundreds of little creatures trying to get in my room.

This happened over several nights.  At one point I remember thinking, “This is what Paul McCartney was trying to warn us about: ‘Someone’s knocking at the door; someone’s ringing the bell…”  He knew all along and was trying to warn us.  Also, Rockwell…that pioneer of the paranormal, yeah, he knew about this back in the 80’s….” I always feel that somebody’s watching me!” 

Thankfully, I learned that if I squeezed my eyes shut..I mean really tight…within a few seconds the lights would snap on and the noises would stop.  The problem was that the light came on like that only when my eyes were squeezed shut.  After a while my eyes would start to hurt and I would open them and be plunged back into the thumping, scratching, and scurrying darkness.

When I couldn’t take it anymore I asked the presence: “What IS that?”

And she, (yes, she) answered as plain as day, “Troubles yet to come.”


Well, whatever you make of all that, there you have it.  This is life….

“The best is yet to be.”

“ Troubles yet to come.” 

One thought on “The Cup (2/5)

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